I just thought this was cool and it is water, something I work with but not in this way.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monthly Update
Major update coming Dec 8th after Trash Prom. I decided that I am slightly scared and may have to run away knowing Beggin, Nacheux, and Piggus are all moving here.
I am psyched for Tex-Mex. Cheers to the Kimchi for getting kicked out of a college football game and for Brownie doing it in record time.
I am psyched for Tex-Mex. Cheers to the Kimchi for getting kicked out of a college football game and for Brownie doing it in record time.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Drunk'n Memory
From what I have heard I had and even better time at Crab Hash. I keep hearing about things I did. I lost partial memory before circle, more after circle, and full memory somewhere before or after flip cup. Apparently though I am awesome when playing with margaritas and no one votes me off.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Crab Hash
So I returned from a fun filled week in Houston. The week started with the Texas Crab Hash. The food was great and never ending slushy machines of margaritas and other frozen cocktails is fantastic yet dangerous. I of course took full advantage and got drunk really early, just ask Nacheaux. Crowning moments....
1. Drunk Bob decides jumping into the back of a moving convertable is a good idea.
2. Rolling out of said car with a kilt is not such a good idea, kilts fly up.
3. Remember to pull ankle into the car prior to slamming the door shut, yes my own ankle.
4. Nachos and burritos and other food is a great thing to show up to circle with.
5. Falling down and rolling into circle when you get called in....priceless.
6. Being told the next day you were very entertaining and fell down a lot...scary "I did what?"
7. Multiple people telling me my ankle looked like hell and might be broken....always a good thing...and it isn't by the way
8. Drinking margaritas before going to class...not such a good idea.
Well after the week of classes I went to Donnie and ESPN's. Great time, Donnie and I alternated baseball innings and beer pong. Gotta practice for Tex-Mex. Donnie won every game by the way. Good margaritas again. ESPN kept giving me shots everytime I walked into the kitchen. Donnie and I went to the Texans game and they actually won at the last second. Many painfull mornings and bouncing around in one of those bouncy things. See ESPN's blog to see a picture of the slide. A great week. I highly recommend it.
1. Drunk Bob decides jumping into the back of a moving convertable is a good idea.
2. Rolling out of said car with a kilt is not such a good idea, kilts fly up.
3. Remember to pull ankle into the car prior to slamming the door shut, yes my own ankle.
4. Nachos and burritos and other food is a great thing to show up to circle with.
5. Falling down and rolling into circle when you get called in....priceless.
6. Being told the next day you were very entertaining and fell down a lot...scary "I did what?"
7. Multiple people telling me my ankle looked like hell and might be broken....always a good thing...and it isn't by the way
8. Drinking margaritas before going to class...not such a good idea.
Well after the week of classes I went to Donnie and ESPN's. Great time, Donnie and I alternated baseball innings and beer pong. Gotta practice for Tex-Mex. Donnie won every game by the way. Good margaritas again. ESPN kept giving me shots everytime I walked into the kitchen. Donnie and I went to the Texans game and they actually won at the last second. Many painfull mornings and bouncing around in one of those bouncy things. See ESPN's blog to see a picture of the slide. A great week. I highly recommend it.
Friday, September 19, 2008
finally an update
I know, I know, I never update my blog very often. I guess most of the time I just forget or maybe nothing really exciting. Sorry Brownie but I don't weigh myself before and after I poop.
So the football game rocked last night. WVU hitting the upright in overtime and the Buffaloes kicked one right down the middle. I saw the collapsable goal posts for the first time last night. They had those things down before the ball hit the ground. What I always wonder is why do people always storm the field. So they beat a team, it is not like they won a championship with a 30 point come from behind, last minute hail mary TD or something. What I would really love to see is people storming the ice after a hockey game. Can you imagine people climbing over the glass and trying to land on their feet on the other side? Trying to run across the ice to congratualte one of the players? I think it would be hilarious. I would say the same thing about tennis. I would pay to see people storm the courts at Wimbleton. I could just see the judge calling for quiet. Or a golfer after a major putt or winning his green jacket to do a superman slide across the green or rip off his shirt and swing it around above his head. These are the things I always wondered about when I see people storming the field after a football game.
So the football game rocked last night. WVU hitting the upright in overtime and the Buffaloes kicked one right down the middle. I saw the collapsable goal posts for the first time last night. They had those things down before the ball hit the ground. What I always wonder is why do people always storm the field. So they beat a team, it is not like they won a championship with a 30 point come from behind, last minute hail mary TD or something. What I would really love to see is people storming the ice after a hockey game. Can you imagine people climbing over the glass and trying to land on their feet on the other side? Trying to run across the ice to congratualte one of the players? I think it would be hilarious. I would say the same thing about tennis. I would pay to see people storm the courts at Wimbleton. I could just see the judge calling for quiet. Or a golfer after a major putt or winning his green jacket to do a superman slide across the green or rip off his shirt and swing it around above his head. These are the things I always wondered about when I see people storming the field after a football game.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Okay here it is, the Trash PBR t-shirt. I talked about it and am now taking orders and getting sizes. I want to place this order soon though so at the latest please let me know by the next Kimchi trail. Here is a pic of the front of the t-shirt.
The back just has test which says in blue lettering"We've been cumming to the same party since 1984 and in no way is that depressing"
It is a white t-shirt and they have some in now but if necessary I am sure I can convince them to order more. So let me know if you want one and what size and I will give you the price later.
Friday, August 1, 2008
a thought
Ever wish you could crank back the clock or time? Sorry wierd dreams last night...really weird. I didn't even sleep that much either. I know some people analyze their dreams and I would love to know what it means when I dreamt I walked into a stranger's house and started cooking breakfast. Then started delivering the mail for the postman (actually woman). All during my coffee break at work. Analyze that Be@tches. Maybe I should lay off the drugs and alcohol for a little while.
Monday, July 28, 2008
The Reality Sets In
Basically just to update my blog after such a long time.....
Went to Vegas and hung out with ESPN, Donnie, and Bonesucker. Had a good time. Breakfast goes so much better with beer and a shot of tequila.
Now this is more of me just personally ranting and thinking and running thoughts through my head so if you don't want to read any further I understand. Now the reality which is setting in is that I had to spend the entire weekend sitting in front of a microscope and realized that I need more. That seems to be a life thing if you ask me, there is always the I need more out there. For me it is typically more time right now. But think about it....think about all the more's you would like and add them up? And yes this is me in the morning at work (been here for a little over 2 hours, since I got in about 6am, already so I deserve the little break).
more time
more money (this is tricky because I only say this because I want to pay off my student loans quicker)
more sleep
more energy sometimes
more beer....who doesn't want this....okay or more liquor
more projects...just not right now thanks, but my work load for some reason is looking thin soon.
more space, but I am not buying a house yet because who knows if I am staying here.
That brings up something interesting to me. Should I stay or should I go? Wait that is from song isn't it. I keep hinting to my manager that I need to get a grade increase and not just a step increase, government terms sorry. Seems everyone else who is doing the work I do is above me in grade. I have now been here for 2 years and at the end of my third year if I don't see it then I am looking and applying and if get an offer then I tell my manager and put on pressure. Sounds like a good option right? Now the thing that always sucks is the starting over. Seems to be a regular thing with me. Just think of all the times you have started over in your life. Everytime you moved someplace new and had to go to a new school in a new town or city and never knew anyone when you got there. Or you moved for a job to a new place and didn't know anyone there. Now hashing does help a lot in this and so I am very grateful for that. I think in some ways it is harder if you are single, hello that would be me. I realized the other day that I now know my way around the Springs better than Denver. Not like I know my way around the Springs too much either though. I remember as a kid that when I got somewhere new one of the first things I would do is go out and ride around on my bike and then I would atleast know a good portion of my local area and sometimes the whole city because of some places I lived. Can't really do that anymore. City is just too big. Okay now you understand why I told you earlier that you might not want to read any further. My mind glides through things and will occasionally skip back and forth and up and down and sideways. So if I go back to the middle part and sometime tell you that next April or May I am moving do not be surprised. Damn it is almost the end of the month...damn deadlines. Everyone wants something done at the same time. So I guess the conclusion is...and the reality sets in.
Went to Vegas and hung out with ESPN, Donnie, and Bonesucker. Had a good time. Breakfast goes so much better with beer and a shot of tequila.
Now this is more of me just personally ranting and thinking and running thoughts through my head so if you don't want to read any further I understand. Now the reality which is setting in is that I had to spend the entire weekend sitting in front of a microscope and realized that I need more. That seems to be a life thing if you ask me, there is always the I need more out there. For me it is typically more time right now. But think about it....think about all the more's you would like and add them up? And yes this is me in the morning at work (been here for a little over 2 hours, since I got in about 6am, already so I deserve the little break).
more time
more money (this is tricky because I only say this because I want to pay off my student loans quicker)
more sleep
more energy sometimes
more beer....who doesn't want this....okay or more liquor
more projects...just not right now thanks, but my work load for some reason is looking thin soon.
more space, but I am not buying a house yet because who knows if I am staying here.
That brings up something interesting to me. Should I stay or should I go? Wait that is from song isn't it. I keep hinting to my manager that I need to get a grade increase and not just a step increase, government terms sorry. Seems everyone else who is doing the work I do is above me in grade. I have now been here for 2 years and at the end of my third year if I don't see it then I am looking and applying and if get an offer then I tell my manager and put on pressure. Sounds like a good option right? Now the thing that always sucks is the starting over. Seems to be a regular thing with me. Just think of all the times you have started over in your life. Everytime you moved someplace new and had to go to a new school in a new town or city and never knew anyone when you got there. Or you moved for a job to a new place and didn't know anyone there. Now hashing does help a lot in this and so I am very grateful for that. I think in some ways it is harder if you are single, hello that would be me. I realized the other day that I now know my way around the Springs better than Denver. Not like I know my way around the Springs too much either though. I remember as a kid that when I got somewhere new one of the first things I would do is go out and ride around on my bike and then I would atleast know a good portion of my local area and sometimes the whole city because of some places I lived. Can't really do that anymore. City is just too big. Okay now you understand why I told you earlier that you might not want to read any further. My mind glides through things and will occasionally skip back and forth and up and down and sideways. So if I go back to the middle part and sometime tell you that next April or May I am moving do not be surprised. Damn it is almost the end of the month...damn deadlines. Everyone wants something done at the same time. So I guess the conclusion is...and the reality sets in.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Need I say more??
Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
(chorus)
Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere
A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night
Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
(chorus)
Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people
Monday, June 30, 2008
quote of the weekend
So of course I went to Dayton's 21st....good times. So my friend Hole decides to set the fatboy trail. This was a trail directly to the beerpong table of course. Proceeding to play beerpong with liquor, of course, and after about 1 handle each and shots and driving the midnight tent crawl I was told by this female hasher..."how the hell are you still standing?" I was so proud.
Friday, June 20, 2008
long time no talk
So I have been a blurr as of late, in and out.....of town. Been some good trips and some great trips. Went to my cousin's wedding in Ohio, to Austin to hang with Bonesucker, and to Oklahoma for work. Of course all the trips to the Springs to see the Kimchi. Trips still yet to come this summer are Dayton, Ohio for their 21st and TITS, Tampa Bay maybe and then only for 1 night, Vegas baby for a weekend, I also know of a trip to washington state but that is for work. I am sure there will be others too.
So I went down to Austin for the weekend to hang with Bonesucker. She informs me that we are going to get a peticure and a wax job saturday. Turns out the peticure was ziplining and the wax job was a ropes course. Can we say F'ing awesome. It was a blast and I highly recommend doing this. I must say that Bone did much better on the ropes course than I did. She rocked, especially her tarzan move, jumping out to a rope and swinging to the other side.
It has been a tiring year so far and I do not forsee any slowing down for a while. But I love it, traveling seeing friends and new places. And yes this is a boring blog right now.
So I went down to Austin for the weekend to hang with Bonesucker. She informs me that we are going to get a peticure and a wax job saturday. Turns out the peticure was ziplining and the wax job was a ropes course. Can we say F'ing awesome. It was a blast and I highly recommend doing this. I must say that Bone did much better on the ropes course than I did. She rocked, especially her tarzan move, jumping out to a rope and swinging to the other side.
It has been a tiring year so far and I do not forsee any slowing down for a while. But I love it, traveling seeing friends and new places. And yes this is a boring blog right now.
Friday, May 23, 2008
NC/SC finally
Well, I have been running late on the post NC/SC blog. In one short sentence I can some it up...Do not let monkeys within 10 feet of each other. That is the summary. Oh yeah never let me have access to knives or hammers when playing Beruit Tippy -3 man.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Breaking News
CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies on the
screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at
the same time you do!!!
screens of the pumps so that you can see someone else get screwed at
the same time you do!!!
Monday, May 5, 2008
damn lists
I blame Jes for the last few of these...that and work
01. Do you like blue cheese? Hate it
02. Have you ever smoked heroin? yes but it is only because my friend did not tell me he put some in the bong mixed with the weed
03. Do you own a gun? Yes but they are currently in Texas
04. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? It has been so long but my favorite was always the cherry-limade
05. Do you get nervous before Doctor Appointments? Yes...which is why I typically seem to go by way of the emergency room versus appointments
06. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them but prefer brats
07. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story of course
08. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee.
09. Can you do push ups? Yes
10. Age? 33 as of the 27th
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My silver hash tag or grandfather's WWII naval medallion
12. Favorite hobby? Does hashing count?
13. Favorite Actor? Don't really have one.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? Not that I know of...ooh look, something shiny.
15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself? Indecisiveness to begin with
16. Middle name? So Silent....really it is Allen
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment :
1. Bored
2. Axious
3. Worried
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. nothing, nothing, and oh yeah nothing
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
1. Coffee
2. Water
3. Ice Tea
20. Current worry? work somewhat
21. Current hate right now? work alot
22 Favorite place to be? with good friends
23. How did you bring in the New Year? drinking with friends at Arctic
24. Where would you like to go? Switzerland evetually
25. Name three people who will complete this? not a damn clue
26. Do you own slippers? Yes, the cocacola polar bears
27. What shirt are you wearing? work shirt
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? never have
29. Can you whistle? yes
30. Favorite color? Blue
31. Would you be a pirate? Hell yeah.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Funny thing is it usually a hash song or whatever is stuck in my damn head.
33. Favorite girl’s name? April
34. Favorite boy’s name? Michael after my dad.
35. What is in your pocket right now? id badge for work
36. Last thing that made you laugh? can't remember. May be this morning. Oh yeah the chuckle when I heard about a 12 car pileup because people were rubber necking at the accident on the other side of the freeway
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Steelers
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? maybe the broken ankle. Took them a year to figure out I broke it and thus it still bothers me 10 years later
39. Do you love where you live? I love it.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
41. Who is your loudest friend? not a clue...there are a lot of them
42. How many dogs do you have? None, I travel too much.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? Like I would know, but probably not, not after what I was told these past couple weekends.
44. What is your favorite book? Don't really have one.
45. Where were you born? Cocoa Beach, FL.
46. What is your favorite candy? Anything but Chocolate probably
47. Favorite Sports Team? Steelers is tops
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Anything Irish, probably Flogging Molly!
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Asleep.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Ooh sex would be nice but otherwise it would be why do I have to go to work and a shower would feel nice right now.
01. Do you like blue cheese? Hate it
02. Have you ever smoked heroin? yes but it is only because my friend did not tell me he put some in the bong mixed with the weed
03. Do you own a gun? Yes but they are currently in Texas
04. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? It has been so long but my favorite was always the cherry-limade
05. Do you get nervous before Doctor Appointments? Yes...which is why I typically seem to go by way of the emergency room versus appointments
06. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them but prefer brats
07. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Story of course
08. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee.
09. Can you do push ups? Yes
10. Age? 33 as of the 27th
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My silver hash tag or grandfather's WWII naval medallion
12. Favorite hobby? Does hashing count?
13. Favorite Actor? Don't really have one.
14. Do you have A.D.D.? Not that I know of...ooh look, something shiny.
15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself? Indecisiveness to begin with
16. Middle name? So Silent....really it is Allen
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment :
1. Bored
2. Axious
3. Worried
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday. nothing, nothing, and oh yeah nothing
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
1. Coffee
2. Water
3. Ice Tea
20. Current worry? work somewhat
21. Current hate right now? work alot
22 Favorite place to be? with good friends
23. How did you bring in the New Year? drinking with friends at Arctic
24. Where would you like to go? Switzerland evetually
25. Name three people who will complete this? not a damn clue
26. Do you own slippers? Yes, the cocacola polar bears
27. What shirt are you wearing? work shirt
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? never have
29. Can you whistle? yes
30. Favorite color? Blue
31. Would you be a pirate? Hell yeah.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Funny thing is it usually a hash song or whatever is stuck in my damn head.
33. Favorite girl’s name? April
34. Favorite boy’s name? Michael after my dad.
35. What is in your pocket right now? id badge for work
36. Last thing that made you laugh? can't remember. May be this morning. Oh yeah the chuckle when I heard about a 12 car pileup because people were rubber necking at the accident on the other side of the freeway
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Steelers
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? maybe the broken ankle. Took them a year to figure out I broke it and thus it still bothers me 10 years later
39. Do you love where you live? I love it.
40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2
41. Who is your loudest friend? not a clue...there are a lot of them
42. How many dogs do you have? None, I travel too much.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? Like I would know, but probably not, not after what I was told these past couple weekends.
44. What is your favorite book? Don't really have one.
45. Where were you born? Cocoa Beach, FL.
46. What is your favorite candy? Anything but Chocolate probably
47. Favorite Sports Team? Steelers is tops
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Anything Irish, probably Flogging Molly!
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Asleep.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Ooh sex would be nice but otherwise it would be why do I have to go to work and a shower would feel nice right now.
Friday, May 2, 2008
8th grade education
I got this from a trasher...My education now means nothing...I am stupid
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895? This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA . It was taken from the original document on file at the Smoke y Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS
Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,''play, ' and 'run.'
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boar ds 12 inches wide and 16 ft. Long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell w hat you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of eac h: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals.
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.'
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the followin g prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe t he mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!
NO! I don't have the answers!
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education? Well, check this out. Could any of us have passed the 8th grade in 1895? This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 in Salina , Kansas , USA . It was taken from the original document on file at the Smoke y Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina , and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS
Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,''play, ' and 'run.'
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time,1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs. For tare?
4. District No 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. What is the cost of 40 boar ds 12 inches wide and 16 ft. Long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell w hat you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell , Lincoln , Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of eac h: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals.
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u.'
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the followin g prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane , vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use of diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe t he mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia , Odessa , Denver , Manitoba , Hecla , Yukon , St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give the inclination of the earth.
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS to complete. Gives the saying 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning, doesn't it?!
NO! I don't have the answers!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Thank You
I would just like to say thanks for all those who helped me celebrate my 33rd birthday. Of course this means I really celebrated my 6th birthday since you just add the numbers together. Turns out that I have some good friends who believe that a good birthday should require 4 days of celebration. Things I might have learned...but not really:
1. Playing Edward 40-Hands means you can touch people without getting slapped.
2. Why cut the boob cake when it is just easier to bite the nipples.
3. Two drunks at the end of the night always equals serious conversations, this time it was pipes.
4. Drinking 2 1/2 of those 5 hour energy drinks win less than one hour will lead to hyperness and difficulty in trying to sleep 10 hours later.
5. The drive from the Denver airport to Manitou only takes 1 hr and 20 minutes including stopping to get food.
6. Drunk people are funny.
7. Parties get so much better when you start playing flip cup.
8. Playing flip cup always seems to end up with someone taking off some clothes.
9. Math gets worse when certain people are around each other especially when 1...2...12 turns into 1...2...14.
10. Lakers kick ass.
11. Never let BoneSucker tell the hibachi chef it is your birthday, you end up drinking a lot of saki.
12. Those who think that sunday is a day of rest have never been around BoneSucker prior to her boarding an airplane..."hey we have 4 hours till my flight...let's have a jagerbomb".
13. Nuggets suck.
14. Drinking brass monkey and boones through a 3 foot long hose can get you tipsy quickly.
15. Warm saki and sushi rocks.
16. Rum, Brass Monkey, Boones, Beer, Saki, Bourbon, Kamikazis, and Jagerbombs will equal a hangover and not getting to work till 11am.
It was a great weekend and I had a blast....Thanks.
1. Playing Edward 40-Hands means you can touch people without getting slapped.
2. Why cut the boob cake when it is just easier to bite the nipples.
3. Two drunks at the end of the night always equals serious conversations, this time it was pipes.
4. Drinking 2 1/2 of those 5 hour energy drinks win less than one hour will lead to hyperness and difficulty in trying to sleep 10 hours later.
5. The drive from the Denver airport to Manitou only takes 1 hr and 20 minutes including stopping to get food.
6. Drunk people are funny.
7. Parties get so much better when you start playing flip cup.
8. Playing flip cup always seems to end up with someone taking off some clothes.
9. Math gets worse when certain people are around each other especially when 1...2...12 turns into 1...2...14.
10. Lakers kick ass.
11. Never let BoneSucker tell the hibachi chef it is your birthday, you end up drinking a lot of saki.
12. Those who think that sunday is a day of rest have never been around BoneSucker prior to her boarding an airplane..."hey we have 4 hours till my flight...let's have a jagerbomb".
13. Nuggets suck.
14. Drinking brass monkey and boones through a 3 foot long hose can get you tipsy quickly.
15. Warm saki and sushi rocks.
16. Rum, Brass Monkey, Boones, Beer, Saki, Bourbon, Kamikazis, and Jagerbombs will equal a hangover and not getting to work till 11am.
It was a great weekend and I had a blast....Thanks.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Its Official
Well it is official one more site has been blocked at work.
The list so far:
ESPN fantasy sports sites
YouTube
MySpace
Hashspace
and all sites which have certain words in the title even some news articles on the Denver Post.
All I's got's left is this Blog right now
The list so far:
ESPN fantasy sports sites
YouTube
MySpace
Hashspace
and all sites which have certain words in the title even some news articles on the Denver Post.
All I's got's left is this Blog right now
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Famous Quotes
"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
Oscar Wilde
"One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough."
James Thurber
"I envy people who drink; at least they know what to blame everything on."
Oscar Levant
"Drink to me."
Pablo Picasso's last words
"Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink."
Unknown
"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
Humphrey Bogart
"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid."
Richard Braunstein
"Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker."
Ogden Nash
"A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world."
Louis Pasteur
"Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."
George Burns
"You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float."
John Barrymore
"I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem"
Unknown
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemingway
"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan
"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion."
Miguel De Cervantes
"He who laughs last, hasn't passed out yet."
Unknown
"The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
Arthur Lewis
24 beers in a case 24 hours in a day, coincidence?
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Dean Martin."An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
Dylan Thomas
"I drink therefore I am."
WC Fields
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave Barry
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
Catherine Zandonella
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
David Daye
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis
"He was a wise man who invented beer."
Plato
"I got so wasted one night I waited for the Stop sign to change, and it did."
Steve Krabitz
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Jack Handy
“I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.”
Brian from Family Guy
From the Simpsons - Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.
Barney Gumbal
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but in the bible it says to love thy enemy
Frank Sinatra
To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson
To alcohol, the nights that you'll never remember, with the friends you'll never forget.
Anon
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones
Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean….against bars, poles and tables.
Anon
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria.
German ProverbBeauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Anon
Oscar Wilde
"One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough."
James Thurber
"I envy people who drink; at least they know what to blame everything on."
Oscar Levant
"Drink to me."
Pablo Picasso's last words
"Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink."
Unknown
"The whole world is about three drinks behind."
Humphrey Bogart
"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid."
Richard Braunstein
"Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker."
Ogden Nash
"A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world."
Louis Pasteur
"Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth."
George Burns
"You can't drown yourself in drink. I've tried, you float."
John Barrymore
"I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem"
Unknown
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Ernest Hemingway
"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan
"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion."
Miguel De Cervantes
"He who laughs last, hasn't passed out yet."
Unknown
"The difference between a drunk and an alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
Arthur Lewis
24 beers in a case 24 hours in a day, coincidence?
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Dean Martin."An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
Dylan Thomas
"I drink therefore I am."
WC Fields
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave Barry
"Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
Catherine Zandonella
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs."
David Daye
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry
"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
Joe E Lewis
"He was a wise man who invented beer."
Plato
"I got so wasted one night I waited for the Stop sign to change, and it did."
Steve Krabitz
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Jack Handy
“I'm not drunk, all right. I just have a speech impediment ... and a stomach virus ... and an inner ear infection.”
Brian from Family Guy
From the Simpsons - Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.
Barney Gumbal
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but in the bible it says to love thy enemy
Frank Sinatra
To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to all of life's problems!
Homer Simpson
To alcohol, the nights that you'll never remember, with the friends you'll never forget.
Anon
Alcoholism is the only disease that you can get yelled at for having.
Mitch Hedberg
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
Mega Jones
Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean….against bars, poles and tables.
Anon
In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria.
German ProverbBeauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Anon
Friday, April 18, 2008
Suggestions
So after much time I have finally aquired someone's mug. Hoover Daaamn lost here mug over 2 years ago I think. I am now in possession of it. I sent her pics so she should now know I have it. The suggestion part is what should I make her do to get it back, especially since it has been out of her grasp for so long. So I am openning it up to the blog.
Friday, April 11, 2008
list
Got this from Beggin's Blog and I just finished a presentation and waiting for comments so I am bored.
The catch is that all the answers must only be ONE word.
1.Where is your mobile phone? ringing
2.Your significant other? who?
3.Your hair? shorter
4.Your mother? Canada
5.Your father? dead
6.Your favourite thing? hash
7.Your dream last night? weird
8.Your favorite drink? tequila!
9.Your dream/goal? move
10.The room you’re in? cubicle
11.Your ex? beatch
12.Your fear? stuck
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Elsewhere
14.Where were you last night? coffee
15.What you’re not? motivated
16.Muffins? squish
17.One of your wish list items? vacation
18.Where you grew up? Beach
19.The last thing you did? phone
20.What are you wearing? jeans
21.Your TV? broken
22.Your pets? heaven
23.Your computer? slow
24.Your life? fun
25.Your mood? bored
26.Missing someone? always
27.Your car? truck
28.Something you’re not wearing? underwear
29.Favorite Store? liquor
30.Your summer? anxious
31.Like someone? usually
32.Your favorite color? blue
33.When is the last time you laughed? minutes
34.Last time you cried? dunno
35.Who will/would re-post this? shrug
The catch is that all the answers must only be ONE word.
1.Where is your mobile phone? ringing
2.Your significant other? who?
3.Your hair? shorter
4.Your mother? Canada
5.Your father? dead
6.Your favourite thing? hash
7.Your dream last night? weird
8.Your favorite drink? tequila!
9.Your dream/goal? move
10.The room you’re in? cubicle
11.Your ex? beatch
12.Your fear? stuck
13.Where do you want to be in 6 years? Elsewhere
14.Where were you last night? coffee
15.What you’re not? motivated
16.Muffins? squish
17.One of your wish list items? vacation
18.Where you grew up? Beach
19.The last thing you did? phone
20.What are you wearing? jeans
21.Your TV? broken
22.Your pets? heaven
23.Your computer? slow
24.Your life? fun
25.Your mood? bored
26.Missing someone? always
27.Your car? truck
28.Something you’re not wearing? underwear
29.Favorite Store? liquor
30.Your summer? anxious
31.Like someone? usually
32.Your favorite color? blue
33.When is the last time you laughed? minutes
34.Last time you cried? dunno
35.Who will/would re-post this? shrug
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Thinking......
So, granted I am not one of those thinking people obviously but the title sounded good. One thing I always wanted to know though is seriously how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? So speaking of thinking....
I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
And when you're out there
Without care,Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly
And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably
Uh, uh
I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that place.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space
And when you're out there
Without care,Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Does that make me crazy?
Possibly
And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control
Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me
My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done
Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably
Uh, uh
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Bowling Saturday Apr 5th
Wheeler and I were talking about going bowling this coming saturday night. I am going to the Pikes Peak hash but after want to bowl. Comment back to see who is interested and then we will determine where.
Monday, March 24, 2008
New Orleans rocked
So there I was...a free trip to New Orleans for the week. After being a stupid hasher and getting on a 1 am flight Sunday morning I made it to the New Orleans GDR. It was a lot of fun I must say. It turns out I know more hashers there than I thought so after the run and the parade I went out to drink. At a bar we were randomly talking to this guy from London while waiting for drinks and low and behold he turned out to be the GM for the London hash. Small world indeed. While there we also did some recruiting. I helped recruit 3 for the DC area and hopefully one each got sold on the Boston and New York hashes. There were more virgins and visitors at the gdr than local hashers.
Monday I partook along with some other hashers a Parade. Some hashers were in the parade so we just kind of tagged along and danced with them behind a porotable Irish Pub. Yes I got a little drunk and Wed, and Thurs, and Fri, and Sat too. All in all it was a good trip and work was done though not as much as I should have.
Now one thing I did hear and must repeat is Spreads em' from Austin or Houston told me to tell Brownie he is a wanker. I heard some other things too but will save those for later.
Monday I partook along with some other hashers a Parade. Some hashers were in the parade so we just kind of tagged along and danced with them behind a porotable Irish Pub. Yes I got a little drunk and Wed, and Thurs, and Fri, and Sat too. All in all it was a good trip and work was done though not as much as I should have.
Now one thing I did hear and must repeat is Spreads em' from Austin or Houston told me to tell Brownie he is a wanker. I heard some other things too but will save those for later.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
It's Snowing.....again
So after being so nice saturday, high in the 70's it snowed sunday, and it was one of those wet slushy snows too. Then it snows last night nad is still snowing. I love Colorado weather but I think I am ready for nice weather again. Especially if I am going to wear a damn dress on the 15th. Calling for snow and or rain late next week. So nothing major is going on but the Avs are winning again....finally. Okay so nothing is going on and my blog sucks again as always. I was impressed when I saw that Prince Harry actually served in a real capacity and anomalously for a while. Only 10 weeks but better than nothing. Unlike his father who what spent a little time on a boat far from any fighting or danger. Okay come April I need a new project to work on. I have the raft made with box-o wine bladders in the design stage but since it will be constructed in North Carolina I need something new. C-4 has yet to give me a start on her juice box dispenser and that may be done by April. So I am looking for ideas. I am still considering the extreme beer pong table but that is a long term project and will involve intricate design work, angles, and construction time. I will wait till I have a house for that one.
Oh yeah I need suggestions for liquors for the boobs for Green Dress.
Oh yeah I need suggestions for liquors for the boobs for Green Dress.
Friday, February 29, 2008
POOP!
Memorize these definitions, and shitting at work or in public will become a pure pleasure.
ASTAIRE (The Fred Astaire Approach) - A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the crapper can crap in peace.
BACKFLUSH - The uncomfortable situation in which the toilet bowl has become so full that it is now overloaded with shit and thus begins to spill over when flushed. If this occurs, all bets are off … get the hell out while you still can. Emergency personnel will need to be called in.
CAMO-COUGH - A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
COURTESY FLUSH - The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the crap log hits the water and the crap is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of airtime the shit has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
CRACK WHORE - A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Telltale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes, piss stains and shit streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORE at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget with a good cleaning, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN.
ESCAPEE - A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing shit in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic and embarrassment, similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee; it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
FLY BY - The act of scouting out a bathroom before shitting. Walk in and check for other crappers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
GHOST DUMP - An abnormal phenomenon in that all the necessary phases of dumping have been completed, but upon your assent off the seat nothing appears in the bowl. This usually occurs around HALLOWEEN.
HAVANA OMELET - A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
HOVER DUMP - When you come across a CRACKWHORE and need to take an emergency dump. The shitter positions himself about a foot above the bowl in a bent knee position in order not to make contact with the toilet seat. Splashing may occur so be prepared to evacuate immediately. If this does not work, you may have to resort to the MUMMY DUMP.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE) - When forcing shit, several farts slip out at a machine-gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic: remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
MUMMY DUMP - If HOVER DUMP is impractical or you find yourself incapable of pulling it off, a MUMMY DUMP may be used in its place. This process involves the complete wrapping of the toilet seat in 1 to 2 inches of toilet paper. If time does not permit or toilet paper is in low supply, it may be necessary to resort back to the HOVER DUMP.
OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET SHITTER - A colleague who shits at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTER enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTER before entering the bathroom.
CRAPPING FRIENDS NETWORK (CFN) - A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency crapping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVEN - A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a crapper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR - A crapper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
UNCLE TED - A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
WALK OF SHAME - Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.
WATERMELON - A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
TUMMY-TUCK - Being forced to leave stall before taking care of business because of a STOOLBLOCKER.
STOOLBLOCKER - An oblivious and shameless colleague who does not hesitate to enter the stall adjacent to yours and unleash holy hell without concern for your presence, safety or subsequent impression.
ASTAIRE (The Fred Astaire Approach) - A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential TURD BURGLARS that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an ASTAIRE, leave the bathroom immediately so the crapper can crap in peace.
BACKFLUSH - The uncomfortable situation in which the toilet bowl has become so full that it is now overloaded with shit and thus begins to spill over when flushed. If this occurs, all bets are off … get the hell out while you still can. Emergency personnel will need to be called in.
CAMO-COUGH - A phony cough which alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON or to alert potential TURD BURGLARS. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
COURTESY FLUSH - The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the crap log hits the water and the crap is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of airtime the shit has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
CRACK WHORE - A crapper that has seen more ass than a Greyhound Bus. Telltale signs of a CRACK WHORE include pubes, piss stains and shit streaks. Avoid a CRACK WHORE at all cost. Try finding out when the janitor cleans each particular bathroom. Don't forget with a good cleaning, a CRACK WHORE can become a SAFE HAVEN.
ESCAPEE - A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing shit in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic and embarrassment, similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter at the urinal, pretend that you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee; it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
FLY BY - The act of scouting out a bathroom before shitting. Walk in and check for other crappers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
GHOST DUMP - An abnormal phenomenon in that all the necessary phases of dumping have been completed, but upon your assent off the seat nothing appears in the bowl. This usually occurs around HALLOWEEN.
HAVANA OMELET - A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an ESCAPEE. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with an ASTAIRE.
HOVER DUMP - When you come across a CRACKWHORE and need to take an emergency dump. The shitter positions himself about a foot above the bowl in a bent knee position in order not to make contact with the toilet seat. Splashing may occur so be prepared to evacuate immediately. If this does not work, you may have to resort to the MUMMY DUMP.
JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE) - When forcing shit, several farts slip out at a machine-gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic: remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
MUMMY DUMP - If HOVER DUMP is impractical or you find yourself incapable of pulling it off, a MUMMY DUMP may be used in its place. This process involves the complete wrapping of the toilet seat in 1 to 2 inches of toilet paper. If time does not permit or toilet paper is in low supply, it may be necessary to resort back to the HOVER DUMP.
OUT-OF-THE-CLOSET SHITTER - A colleague who shits at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTER enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTER before entering the bathroom.
CRAPPING FRIENDS NETWORK (CFN) - A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency crapping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of OUT OF THE CLOSET SHITTERS and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVEN - A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a crapper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR - A crapper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
UNCLE TED - A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An UNCLE TED makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
WALK OF SHAME - Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk-up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of a COURTESY FLUSH.
WATERMELON - A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a WATERMELON coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
TUMMY-TUCK - Being forced to leave stall before taking care of business because of a STOOLBLOCKER.
STOOLBLOCKER - An oblivious and shameless colleague who does not hesitate to enter the stall adjacent to yours and unleash holy hell without concern for your presence, safety or subsequent impression.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
2 more days
So in 47 an 1/2 hours the Kimchi will hash and Net will be haring (Fag). I will be driving down for it as usual. I think Net is right and I might as well move down there. If I had the money I think I would rent an apartment or buy a house there for the weekends and holidays. Then it could also be there for all the out-of-towners when they come in. Yeah that is a pipe dream since I don't have any money. Driving down and crashing will just have to do. I have yet to meet a completely uncomfortable couch yet. Z's are actually really comfortable for all those that are interested. Yes this is a sucky blog today but I am tired of looking at this report I am writing. Actually tired of making picture collages for it. Sounds funny really. So C-4 and I have been discussing crashing in the car when really hammered and the laws about that as well as hot-wiring cars. Any thoughts out there? So I need your help. I know for a fact Brownie drinks Box-O wine but anyone else who does. Save me/give me the wine bladder from the box when you are finished with them. A couple hashers from the Trash and I are going to concoct the S.S. Box-O from them for a Trash Floats. So I need some bladders for this. We will also be using some of the boxes to if you want to give me a signed one like a Kimchi one to mount on the SS Box-O.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Year in Review 2007
1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before?
I went on a true vacation
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make any so I always keep them
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister
4. Did anyone close to you die?
not this year
5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico!!!
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
New Digital Camera & an ipod & a house but I know that is down the road
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
too many good dates on my mind but IAH2007 wa sone of the really good ones
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
making it through another year
9. What was your biggest failure?
not meeting some of my personal goals
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
regular colds and such but nothing major
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets for hash events
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
All my friends who have gone overseas to defend others
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
D R A M A need we say more
14. Where did most of your money go?
Hash events and those pesky school loans
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing friends and Puerto Vaharta
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Crazy
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? about the same
c) richer or poorer? always seem poor even though I am making more
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading, Exercising, Running
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
procrastinating
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Nothing and I loved it
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No
22. How many one-night stands?
2 sort of
23. What was your favorite TV program?
CSI
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not really
25. What was the best book you read?
don't really have a best book
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
????
27. What did you want and get?
I got see see a lot of friends and make new ones
28. What did you want and not get?
To go to more hash events and go visit my sister in Switzerland...that and the raise I wanted
29. What was your favorite film of 2007?
I don't know
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
32 and I went to see the Braves play the Rockies. That and lot's of beer and 7-9 wonderful shots of tequila
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
??? I never know
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
jeans and t-shirts or mechanic shirts
33. What kept you sane?
Hashing & all my friends
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
whatever...don't really care
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
there were some but not enough to mention
36. Who did you miss?
believe it or not...some of my family particularly my Brother and his wife and my sisters and cousins
37. Who was the best new person you met?
too many to list but some would definitely have to be the Colorado Kimchi
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Some people just don't understand and get too bent out of shape over nothing
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Maybe your crazy....maybe your crazy....maybe your crazy....just like me....
I went on a true vacation
2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make any so I always keep them
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister
4. Did anyone close to you die?
not this year
5. What countries did you visit?
Mexico!!!
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
New Digital Camera & an ipod & a house but I know that is down the road
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
too many good dates on my mind but IAH2007 wa sone of the really good ones
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
making it through another year
9. What was your biggest failure?
not meeting some of my personal goals
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
regular colds and such but nothing major
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Plane tickets for hash events
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
All my friends who have gone overseas to defend others
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
D R A M A need we say more
14. Where did most of your money go?
Hash events and those pesky school loans
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Seeing friends and Puerto Vaharta
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Crazy
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? about the same
c) richer or poorer? always seem poor even though I am making more
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading, Exercising, Running
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
procrastinating
20. How did you spend Christmas?
Nothing and I loved it
21. Did you fall in love in 2007?
No
22. How many one-night stands?
2 sort of
23. What was your favorite TV program?
CSI
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Not really
25. What was the best book you read?
don't really have a best book
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
????
27. What did you want and get?
I got see see a lot of friends and make new ones
28. What did you want and not get?
To go to more hash events and go visit my sister in Switzerland...that and the raise I wanted
29. What was your favorite film of 2007?
I don't know
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
32 and I went to see the Braves play the Rockies. That and lot's of beer and 7-9 wonderful shots of tequila
31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
??? I never know
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
jeans and t-shirts or mechanic shirts
33. What kept you sane?
Hashing & all my friends
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
whatever...don't really care
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
there were some but not enough to mention
36. Who did you miss?
believe it or not...some of my family particularly my Brother and his wife and my sisters and cousins
37. Who was the best new person you met?
too many to list but some would definitely have to be the Colorado Kimchi
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007.
Some people just don't understand and get too bent out of shape over nothing
39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Maybe your crazy....maybe your crazy....maybe your crazy....just like me....
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Travel Hashing Rocks!
So I love hashing and more so travel hashing. There is nothing better than driving or flying to various places and meeting new hashers or seeing the ones you know already. So I have been planning on going out east for a couple hashes this summer. I think I have enough vacation time so that is okay...money however is always tight. I looked back and figure I spent $2500 on plane tickets for hashes last year. Not like this will deter me any. So the fun part is at the beginning of the hash year I get to sit and decide which hashes am I going to? Now some obviously are a given (Trash Prom, Tex-Mex (Fuck Yeah!), and BFE (If it gets rescheduled)). The rest I rotate now since I moved out west and most are in the east. So I can tell you a lot of the good events and wish I could tell you about more. This year I decided to go to NC/SC in May and T.I.T.S. over July 4th weekend. TITS stands for Tubing in the Shenandoas. Now I like flying out for hashes but the most fun is the driving road trip hashes when you get a car full of drunk partying hashers and a drive which takes atleast 3-4 hours. So, I am flying to North Carolina so I can road trip up to TITS which is maybe an hour west of D.C. Yeah and I know this Blog sucks but I am bored and ready to go home. Now time to go and catch up with the times and get an ipod.
Monday, February 25, 2008
BFE
Okay I pose the question as to why is BFE being held in May and not June? I had a blast at BFE last year and apparently offered up much humor as well. Unfortunately I will miss it this year. And yes this blog still sucks but that is alright because Lincoln is gay.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Snowdown Pics
For those that care it was a good time and here are just a few pics to show that it was. I love my little ladies...they were definitely sexily dressed. Here is the link
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=og0ng2u.4q5deu6i&x=1&y=-wv5a92
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=og0ng2u.4q5deu6i&x=1&y=-wv5a92
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Uggghhhh
Can I just say how much I hate Farmington, NM? Only thing worse is most of the other places I go to for work. That and flying Great Lakes Airlines. Okay I am done...4 shots of good dominican rum and fish tacos and I am tired and it is 4pm. Time to wrap up and go home.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Back in Denver Finally
So I know let's start with the obvious...This Blog Sucks. I don't get on here much since I don't have internet at home...I know I can do it from work but hey what can I say....I suck. So there has been so much demand and I finally got over to the coffee shop to upload the youtube videos. Took forever....to upload them too. So they are up there. However I need to pick some better keywords I think but try and find them...key words are Tex-Mex Carrier Landing. I will alter as soon as I can though and try and get something unique. Otherwise try Gaylord's name or Net's Folly or Brownie's Folly or Gaylord's big mistake. They might be under that. Hopefully they are up now though. I will check when I can though. I can't do it from work.
So now for the last weekend. It was a lot of fun. Headed down to Manitou Thursday night to hang out with the Kimchi. After a few bars I can honestly say Brownie should never leave jello-shots unattended in his fridge. We did leave money though. Check out @ss Gagger's photots to explain. So Friday get down there with 10 minutes to spare for the bus to the parade. Now driving down with two other guys was fun and an adventure but the 2 cases of beer did not help. I did however introduce them to the Brass Monkey which can easily be drank while driving...don't worry I did not partake too much. So needless to say when I got to Durango it was catch-up time and it is one of my favorite games to play. May I say the girls Tits on the Rits was extremely hot in her barwench outfit and Nappy as well in her outfit which I believe was a maiden's outfit. Tits looked like she was going to pop and they both received an ample amount of attention...from other people as well. I love hot chocolate when it has peppermint schnapps. So after the parade was the VFW Post and believe it or not they had karaokie that night so of course some of us partook heavily in it. The alcohol helps a lot with that. At 4:30 am those remaining decided to sleep...something about standing in the snow storm drinking beer was when it happened.
Saturday got up 10 minutes before circle to head out on the Turdrunken trail. It was a good time. Sandboney and I lost TT a third of the way into trail. We did some extra bar stops then ended at the VFW again. After a few rounds of tippy cup sandboney and I lost each other. I went with some of the Denver hashers and saw two girls showing all in a high five contest. After much time I figured I should go find Sandboney and TT so of course we barely missed each other. (Sandboney found TT waiting in the room). I decided on my way that I would try to have a drink in every bar on the way back to the VFW. I found myself passed out in my hotel room around 3am with no recollection of the bars or the walk. Of course Sandboney lost TT again but we all found our way home at one hour or another.
Sunday we got going a little late and were all of 5 miles from Wolf Creek Pass when it closed. So back to Durango we went where we decided to go where else but the VFW to watch one great Superbowl and have much to drink. A non-hasher put us up for the night nad cooked us breakfast monday morning too. She walked in the snow to the store at 6 am or so to get the fixings for the breakfast. I have her number and plan on staying there again. And no we did not sleep with her...she has a boyfriend who was also there. Did I mention we lost Sandboney that night. He got a nice police car ride to a hotel with the bartender. And no he was not arrested...they offered.
Monday morning rolls around and after a good breakfast we go and get our car and the bartenders car out of the snow. Wolf Creek? closed, 64 around Chama and that pass? closed, 25 just above Albequerque? closed. 70? open. So off we drove West into Utah and up to 70 and back to Denver. so 1 day and 9 hours later I got back to Denver and only missed one day of work. I did phone ahead on Sunday night to tell them...and yes I did this prior to getting drunk.
So cheers to good times and snow storms. The Snowdown pics should be up early next week. They are shutting down the internet here at work in about an hour....and it will be down all weekend.
So now for the last weekend. It was a lot of fun. Headed down to Manitou Thursday night to hang out with the Kimchi. After a few bars I can honestly say Brownie should never leave jello-shots unattended in his fridge. We did leave money though. Check out @ss Gagger's photots to explain. So Friday get down there with 10 minutes to spare for the bus to the parade. Now driving down with two other guys was fun and an adventure but the 2 cases of beer did not help. I did however introduce them to the Brass Monkey which can easily be drank while driving...don't worry I did not partake too much. So needless to say when I got to Durango it was catch-up time and it is one of my favorite games to play. May I say the girls Tits on the Rits was extremely hot in her barwench outfit and Nappy as well in her outfit which I believe was a maiden's outfit. Tits looked like she was going to pop and they both received an ample amount of attention...from other people as well. I love hot chocolate when it has peppermint schnapps. So after the parade was the VFW Post and believe it or not they had karaokie that night so of course some of us partook heavily in it. The alcohol helps a lot with that. At 4:30 am those remaining decided to sleep...something about standing in the snow storm drinking beer was when it happened.
Saturday got up 10 minutes before circle to head out on the Turdrunken trail. It was a good time. Sandboney and I lost TT a third of the way into trail. We did some extra bar stops then ended at the VFW again. After a few rounds of tippy cup sandboney and I lost each other. I went with some of the Denver hashers and saw two girls showing all in a high five contest. After much time I figured I should go find Sandboney and TT so of course we barely missed each other. (Sandboney found TT waiting in the room). I decided on my way that I would try to have a drink in every bar on the way back to the VFW. I found myself passed out in my hotel room around 3am with no recollection of the bars or the walk. Of course Sandboney lost TT again but we all found our way home at one hour or another.
Sunday we got going a little late and were all of 5 miles from Wolf Creek Pass when it closed. So back to Durango we went where we decided to go where else but the VFW to watch one great Superbowl and have much to drink. A non-hasher put us up for the night nad cooked us breakfast monday morning too. She walked in the snow to the store at 6 am or so to get the fixings for the breakfast. I have her number and plan on staying there again. And no we did not sleep with her...she has a boyfriend who was also there. Did I mention we lost Sandboney that night. He got a nice police car ride to a hotel with the bartender. And no he was not arrested...they offered.
Monday morning rolls around and after a good breakfast we go and get our car and the bartenders car out of the snow. Wolf Creek? closed, 64 around Chama and that pass? closed, 25 just above Albequerque? closed. 70? open. So off we drove West into Utah and up to 70 and back to Denver. so 1 day and 9 hours later I got back to Denver and only missed one day of work. I did phone ahead on Sunday night to tell them...and yes I did this prior to getting drunk.
So cheers to good times and snow storms. The Snowdown pics should be up early next week. They are shutting down the internet here at work in about an hour....and it will be down all weekend.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Tex-Mex pictures
Yes I finally got them uploaded so here is the link. If it doesn't work let me know. It is only a little over 200, sorry I should have taken more...so many good moments...so many good memories.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=og0ng2u.2e8a4ouy&x=0&y=2ma67u
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=og0ng2u.2e8a4ouy&x=0&y=2ma67u
Thursday, January 24, 2008
New day new dollar
Okay maybe $0.50 only. So I still have yet to get the pictures up but am still going to try and get them up in the immediate future. Maybe even this evening. This will be a boring blog for a while since my life is not too exciting right now. Good news is I am going to Snowdown and have a good friend coming in early to hang out for a couple days on each end of the hash weekend. I got one for sure and maybe two. So work sucks but atleast it is busy so it isn't quite so bad. This is it for right now so have a good one and lates.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Just another hasher starting a Blog
Well since I want people to know what is happening in my life and what I have done-did-doing here is my Blog. Plus you will get lots of crazy pictures from places I have been and people I have met. Coming soon will be my pictures from Tex-Mex 2008. It was a blast and I am already planning to go again next year.
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