The Reality Sets In

Basically just to update my blog after such a long time.....
Went to Vegas and hung out with ESPN, Donnie, and Bonesucker. Had a good time. Breakfast goes so much better with beer and a shot of tequila.

Now this is more of me just personally ranting and thinking and running thoughts through my head so if you don't want to read any further I understand. Now the reality which is setting in is that I had to spend the entire weekend sitting in front of a microscope and realized that I need more. That seems to be a life thing if you ask me, there is always the I need more out there. For me it is typically more time right now. But think about it....think about all the more's you would like and add them up? And yes this is me in the morning at work (been here for a little over 2 hours, since I got in about 6am, already so I deserve the little break).

more time
more money (this is tricky because I only say this because I want to pay off my student loans quicker)
more sleep
more energy sometimes
more beer....who doesn't want this....okay or more liquor
more projects...just not right now thanks, but my work load for some reason is looking thin soon.
more space, but I am not buying a house yet because who knows if I am staying here.

That brings up something interesting to me. Should I stay or should I go? Wait that is from song isn't it. I keep hinting to my manager that I need to get a grade increase and not just a step increase, government terms sorry. Seems everyone else who is doing the work I do is above me in grade. I have now been here for 2 years and at the end of my third year if I don't see it then I am looking and applying and if get an offer then I tell my manager and put on pressure. Sounds like a good option right? Now the thing that always sucks is the starting over. Seems to be a regular thing with me. Just think of all the times you have started over in your life. Everytime you moved someplace new and had to go to a new school in a new town or city and never knew anyone when you got there. Or you moved for a job to a new place and didn't know anyone there. Now hashing does help a lot in this and so I am very grateful for that. I think in some ways it is harder if you are single, hello that would be me. I realized the other day that I now know my way around the Springs better than Denver. Not like I know my way around the Springs too much either though. I remember as a kid that when I got somewhere new one of the first things I would do is go out and ride around on my bike and then I would atleast know a good portion of my local area and sometimes the whole city because of some places I lived. Can't really do that anymore. City is just too big. Okay now you understand why I told you earlier that you might not want to read any further. My mind glides through things and will occasionally skip back and forth and up and down and sideways. So if I go back to the middle part and sometime tell you that next April or May I am moving do not be surprised. Damn it is almost the end of the month...damn deadlines. Everyone wants something done at the same time. So I guess the conclusion is...and the reality sets in.

Need I say more??

Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit
He took the midnight train goin anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night

Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

(chorus)

Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people